Healing The Sisterhood Wound
Feeling competitive with other women. Not trusting other women. Being afraid to speak your truth around other women. Feeling like there is “not enough” for all of us women. Seeing a powerful woman as “intimidating” or “bitchy”. Acting like the “cool girl” to fit in with men. Thinking or saying, “I’m not like those other girls” to distance yourself or dismiss your power as a woman.
This is all so deeply ingrained in us as women. We’ve been told - by society, by the media, and our own experiences with our mothers, sisters, and girls from high school - to mistrust or fear other women.
We’ve all had negative experiences - a bully at school, a friend turning on you, feeling jealousy or being jealous of another woman. The female relationship wound can run deep. The pain from our early female relationships can stay with us and seep into our current female relationships.
Positive, female friendships and community is how you can break through these patterns and this deep wound. Surrounding yourself with women you can trust and be completely yourself is key. Where you can express yourself fully, listen to each other, support each other's growth and celebrate milestones and accomplishments. This kind of community can be an incredible place to heal, help you navigate through life and be your most powerful self.
We invite you to examine your female relationships. Look at your relationship with your mum, sisters, friends and notice if there are any patterns. Ask yourself:
- Is there a common theme in my female relationships?
- What do I need more from these relationships?
- What doesnt feel good in these relationships?
- Do I feel 100% myself in these relationships?
- Is the relationship balanced and equal?
- Am I being triggered in this relationship?
Also look at how you are as a friend. When you focus on your own personal healing, you’re showing up in your relationships much more secure and in your power. This helps you be more compassionate with yourself and more empathetic toward your friends.
Look at your close friends as souls that chose to support each other. Whether that means you want to have a friend who is loyal, caring, compassionate and your biggest cheerleader, then be that friend as well.
This also includes setting up healthy boundaries. We really respect when our friends set boundaries — it makes us feel safe to set boundaries for ourselves. You should also feel safe to say “no” to plans with friends and explain honestly why you need alone time. Remember establishing boundaries is a form of love as it creates a safe place for both people to be their true selves.
Lastly, find solace and support in female community.
It’s beautiful to witness other women truly support each other, hold each other accountable, reflect back to one another, grow together, and come back to themselves in community. If you’re feeling like you don’t have women in your life who you can deeply connect to, we invite you to join our community! Or try attending a workshop or class with like minded women - there's other women seeking community also.
When women support and lift up other women, we all benefit!